Attention Shy Solo Travelers:
8 Tips How To Meet New People On Vacation
This article is for the shy solo traveler. I’m going to focus this article on the kind of solo traveler that really needs that nudge to go and talk to people. Put your anxiety aside because it is SO easy, like not difficult at all, in the least, sooo super easy to meet people on vacation that you could do it in your sleep. (Literally, if you fall asleep and start to burn in the sun, someone may come and wake you up to save you from burning and BOOM – new friend!) Attention ALL shy solo travelers, here are 8 tips that will help you to meet new people on vacation and enjoy yourself.
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OK wallflowers, get ready because I am a social butterfly and I go hard!
(Feel free to make this a writing exercise and make it even more personal for yourself. Answer the questions and write them down – even if you put it in your notes in your phone to reference while on your trip.)
- Tip 1 - Mindset Goals
In order for this to work, you have to be in the right mindset.
I know, I know, talking to strangers is hard. It comes with a lot of anxiety. But, in this situation, it’s really not as difficult as you may think! Trust me!
The easiest way to prove it to you, is to have you do some self reflection…
Why are you on vacation?
Ex Answers –
You want to get away from your daily routine.
You want to branch out and see the world.
You want to do something different from your day to day life. etc
Why did you choose this particular destination?
Ex Answers –
Look at this place, it’s awesome!
You’ve always wanted to go there.
It’s a great place to… relax, exercise, gamble, meet girls, meet guys, etc.
What do you want to see the most?
Ex Answers –
The 911 Memorial
The Grand Canyon
A Manatee
The Volcanic Black Sand Beach, etc.
Great! That’s why YOU want to go, now think about other people heading in the same direction for vacation as you.
If you can’t decide where to go, Check out this article, it will help.
Just those three questions will give you a better understanding of the people you are about to encounter while vacationing.
Guess what! They are the same!
Yep. They are on vacation for the same reasons, they chose the same destination for the same reason, they want to see those same things!
Right there, you should already breath a sigh of relief. There is going to be someone just like you on the same vacation!
Let that sink in.
- Tip 2 - Where To Meet Your Ideal New Friend
Your ideal new friends are going to be at the same place you want to be. You will have some similarities already just by picking the destination you picked.
Where would you hang out?
Ex Answers –
You went to New York City to tour the Irish Bars. – Ideal friends will be in Irish Bars.
You went to Siesta Key Beach to see the whitest sand beach in Florida. – Ideal friends will be at beaches.
You went to Cleveland, Ohio to see the Rock and Roll Hall Of Fame. – Ideal friends will be around this area.
Do some research and see what kinds of activities are going on in relation to that place so you know the best time of year to go.
Ex Answers –
New York City is famous for its Saint Patrick’s Day.
Siesta Key Beach has a Turtle Festival.
Rock and Roll Hall Of Fame has a summer concert series.
Be thorough in your research because this is where the like-minded people will be hanging out. If you can’t go during that time, no worries, just doing what you like to do will bring you around other people who enjoy doing the same thing.
Think of more general activities that will bring you even closer to your kind of people.
Ex Answers –
New York City has an Irish Bar walking tour.
Siesta Key Beach has volleyball nets and you like to play volleyball.
Rock and Roll Hall Of Fame has an All Access Cafe and Store that non-ticketed people can go to.’
Non-City-Specific Generic Spots I’ve Met People
In My Hotel.
Hang out in the common area and you are sure to see some of the same faces after a while. It’s a great excuse to strike up a conversation when you see the same person day to day. They are most likely there for the same time period you are. Most people vacation for a week or for a weekend. Ex – I met a bachelor party in Vegas while playing blackjack in my casino. They were staying there also just for the weekend. The guys who were in relationships wanted to hang out safely with us as “boob blocks” while their single friends ran around talking to girls. We ended up hanging out with them the next day at the pool and the guys who were in relationships hung out with us while the single guys flirted away. We ended up having the whole place hanging with us because we had combined forces and were having a great time socializing.
At the Bar.
It’s easy to strike up a conversation with someone who is also having a couple drinks. A drink helps most people relax and with the help of a bartender, you will be more likely to socialize. Ex – I was on a girl trip in Dominican Republic and we kept seeing this jovial guy in a bright neon yellow thong. We struck up a conversation with him at the swim up bar on the second day and turns out he was there by himself for the month and was happy to have new friends to have lunch with. We ended up hanging out for the whole night, I taught him how to twerk, and he hurt his back trying to recreate the moment later in the trip.
At Scheduled Events.
Playing the scheduled games or going to the events at the location you are staying will quickly create a group of friends you know are fun. Sitting next to someone and striking up a conversation before a show starts will make you a new buddy. Taking a dance class will force you into friendship with your dance partner. Ex – I did a bachata class pool-side and was partnered with this really clumsy guy. He saw me later in the night and asked me to dance bachata with him when a song came on. His friends soon joined and it turns out they were all there for a work convention. They were all from Argentina. I ended up hitting it off with his coworker and having a little vacation fling!
Mealtime.
Do you see someone sitting alone? They could also be on a solo trip. Here’s another perfect time to strike up a conversation. Everyone likes to have someone to eat with, and once you’re done eating you can part ways. Is someone trying something you are too afraid to eat yourself? Ask them what it tastes like. Ex – My friend and I were on vacation in Mexico and she was cutting a coconut. These two guys noticed us and came over so that she could show them her technique on how to remove the shell from the meat. Don’t ask me how. I’ve vacationed with her like five times and I still can’t figure out how to do it myself. I still have her do it for me. But every time we saw them after that they would yell, “Hey coconut girl! Have a great day!” in passing.
Poolside.
You start to see the same people because people are creatures of habit and tend to head naturally to the same spot, “their spot.” Ask someone what they are drinking and if you should try it. Offer to hold their seats for them if you tend to get there earlier than them or even watch their stuff when they go in the pool or to the bathroom. Ex – My friend and I were in Jamaica and we met a sweet couple from Canada. They always got up super early because they were trying to stick to the husband’s truck driving schedule. We hit it off talking and next thing you know, they were saving chairs next to their’s for us every morning so that we could sleep in.
- Tip 3 - Meet A Social Butterfly
Social Butterflies are good people to meet on the first couple days of your vacation. They will help build your confidence and give you a push towards potential new friends. In fact, they will do all the work for you!
Bartenders are your best friend. – They are masters at breaking the ice and starting conversations. Don’t be afraid to tell them your situation. They will help you make new friends in no time. Who knows, they may even become your friend that you end up visiting for the whole trip. The best thing about bartenders is that they are connected. So, if they know you are here for just the weekend, they know exactly where you should go and what you should do with your days and nights. They won’t bullshit you.
Resort and Hotel Workers are your good and loyal friend. – Similar to bartenders, these guys know what is up! They know what is the excursion worth going on and which one is the scam. They know what you should spend your money on and what you shouldn’t. Often, they get a commission from recommending you to go. They would not steer you wrong in most cases because they would have to feel your wrath if things didn’t go well. They are working at the same spot you are staying after all. It’s in their best interest to lead you in the right direction. (It doesn’t hurt to do some quick online research before you agree to anything just to be sure.)
Entertainers are your partner in crime. – Just to warn you, you get what you ask for with this crew! Once you are friends, you are going to be part of their social butterfly kingdom. They may pull you up on stage, volunteer you for activities, use you as their dance partner to teach a class, and even sit you down next to people they think you will get along with. They are called entertainers for a reason and their whole job is to make sure you have fun. If you tell them you are on vacation to meet people, you just may meet the whole resort. But why not? Friendship is a numbers game after all! All you really need on a solo trip is one good go to buddy.
- Tip 4 - Repeat ... Repeat ... Repeat
Say “Hi” to everyone and smile. This is the easiest tactic to meet people.
Talk to everyone. There’s nothing wrong with being friendly. (If you’re in a different country, try learning how to say it in their language.) Even if you don’t want to be friends with them, it’s good practice to get out of your shy solo traveler mode.
When you see the same faces, strike up conversations. They will start to recognize you and will more than likely start to engage you first. Ideally they will eventually start introducing you to friends that they have made.
Trust me, if they are not in the mood to be social, it will be pretty darn obvious! And if you don’t want to be friends with the people you keep meeting, you don’t have to. Just keep repeating the same tactics throughout your vacationing days. Eventually, you will find your tribe.
- Tip 5 - Have Key Phrases To Use
You can use easy conversation-starter pick-up lines to make new friends.
Here are some of my go-to “pick-up lines” for new friends.
Keeping it simple Ex –
“Hi”
“How are you”
Introduce yourself.
“How’s your vacation going.”
These are good tester phrases to feel out if someone is interested in sparking conversation. (Keep in mind that sometimes people just want to be alone on a Relax-acation)
“Baiting” Convos Ex –
“It’s hot/cold today. Did you happen to catch what the weather is supposed to be like for the rest of the week?”
“Wow, it’s packed today. Is it always this busy? Today’s my first day here.”
Bait them to see if they want to continue the conversation. (If they just answer with one word, they just want to chill.)
“Debatable” Convos Ex –
“What is that?” (When referring to food that looks unappetizing, try not to say “ew” but feel free to make a funny face.)
“How do you feel about this?” (When referring to something on TV that is debatable.)
“Where did you get that crazy shirt?” (Or other crazy pieces of clothing they are wearing.)
See if they will get into a friendly conversation with you and a healthy exchange of opinions.
Compliments –
“Is that a good book? I’m looking for something to read for the plane ride home.”
“I really like your nail polish color! Did you get it here? Where?”
“Excuse me, I just had to tell you your butt looks incredible in those jeans!”
Giving compliments to people is always a great in. Everyone loves to feel smart and special. Maybe they’ll even compliment you back.
Directions – (Even when you already know how to get somewhere.)
“Excuse me, do you know how I get to the beach?”
“Do you know which direction Times Square is?”
“Do you know how I’m supposed to eat this?”
Asking for directions is probably the easiest in. People love to help and you may get lucky and they may be headed in the same direction. You can strike up a conversation as you walk or they may ask you if you want to join them at their table so they can show you how to eat it
It’s important to keep in mind that you never know what someone’s day has been like. Don’t ever take it personally if they aren’t up for conversation. They may surprise you the next day when they are less tired and in a better mood, recognize you somewhere, and be the one to strike up a conversation with you.
This is why repetition is key.
- Tip 6 - Choose Your Own Adventure Wisely
What kind of friend are you looking for?
A person to be your partner in crime. You may choose to just hunker down with them (just having one friend on vacay is still a form of socializing!) or you two may become the most social duo with people recognizing you everywhere you go. This person is someone you would give your phone number to so you can keep each other up to date on when you plan to eat, when you plan to hit the bar, when you plan to be back in the room, etc. They are your go-to friend that you will probably take the friendship back home with you. You may even plan a trip together and make it a yearly get together.
These are people to pass the time with. There’s the couple that’s always there when you’re having your morning coffee. There’s that regular at the bar who bought you a shot the other night. There’s the friendly gardener who always says “hi” when you pass them. They are cool and all, but there was no spark to keep a conversation going much. It’s more just like hey there neighbor and then you keep it moving. But, it’s nice to have a little bit of socialization when you see them.
Oh honey, put your helmet on. These people are going to take you on a ride on their crazy coaster. There is no zero, they are at one hundred at all times. They may be that bachelorette party that keeps trying to get you to go topless with them, but then you always see one of them ends up crying. They could be that drunk guy who wants to tell you his whole life story, but you can’t stand his breath after his tenth shot of who knows what. They are that single person who is trying to latch onto you and gossip about anything and everyone.
These friends can be good for a limited period of time but eventually it will turn bad. Just be friendly enough to enjoy yourself while you are with them, but not friendly enough that they expect you to hang with them at all hours of the day. Because they will try to rope you in, trust me.
Ex – I was in DR and there was this family reunion with cousins in their early twenties who had brought a couple friends each. They were fun at first, but something told me not to get too friendly with them. Sure enough, by the third day, they were constantly fighting and yelling at each other. By day five, the friends no longer even joined the family anymore, even they needed to leave the situation.
It’s fun to see familiar faces and feel like you’re socializing when you want to socialize. Just be careful which adventure you want to go on. You will be able to see the warning signs from the beginning, so trust your gut.
- Tip 7 - Stay Away From Bad Situations
The reality is, there are some people that you just do not click with. Their scene is just not your scene and that’s OK.
DO NOT ENGAGE with them.
Once you see that red flag, just take your leave. Maybe it’s a creepy guy at the bar who tries to strike up a conversation or that couple that keeps fighting and tries to wrangle you into their fight. Just get up and leave. You will thank me later!
If you are at a resort, you will probably run into them again, so just keep an eye out and keep your distance. If you are visiting somewhere like Las Vegas, you will probably never see them again so don’t stress. Either way, it’s easy to cut off a conversation. As women we tend to feel like we need to be nice to everyone but WE DO NOT! Just anticipate the bad situations to come and steer clear of it.
Pay your tab, get up, and go somewhere else. You can always go back to that bar tomorrow and it will probably be different people. It is what it is. It’s easier to just distance yourself than it is worth getting into a conversation, realizing you don’t like them, and then having to talk about how you don’t like them and that they need to stop talking to you every time you see them. Because these kinds of people will just keep coming back around. They hate rejection and love to get a rise out of people. This way you just steer clear of the situation and trust your instincts.
Even if that kind of person is the only one in the place, just go somewhere else. Just do it. Don’t be social that time.
- Tip 8 - Safety First
Be smart. Don't take unnecessary risks.
Generally I want to tell you not to worry. We live in a day and age where vacation locations have cameras, security, and police within a safe distance.
Don’t walk down a dark unlit path or alley. You know better. If your gut tells you not to do it, then stay away from those people or that situation. Stay safe and go to places that are populated. Try to make acquaintances that seem trustworthy so that you could always find them if you ever felt uncomfortable.
This is where friends you have made on vacation come in handy.
You will feel safer when you know people know who you are. Maybe not know you know you, but they have seen you around. They would notice if someone was bothering you. Even if you want to have a completely solo trip, at least speak to people in social settings. It’s for your own safety. You don’t have to make crazy amounts of friends, but at least socialize enough that you feel like you are safe and are seen.
I love meeting people on vacation. It’s one of my favorite parts! You get to see how people live all over the world. It reminds you just how small the world is and just how similar we all are at the end of the day.
You don’t have to be social every day on a solo vacation. It’s OK to do your own things for most of the trip. But, challenge yourself at least one day to try to make some friends.
Remember that everyone else is probably on vacation too! They may be going to the same sights that you plan to go. Now you have friends to safely go off resort with or people to stand in line with even if it’s just for that day or those couple of hours. You don’t have to hang out with them every day, but they may give you the courage to do the things you were too scared to do solo.
Most people are thinking the same way you are thinking! So don’t be afraid to shoot your shot. Actually, that could be a good line too. “Want me to take your picture for you?” (Click here for some easy poses!) It’s better to get pushed a little outside of your comfort zone than to look back and wish you would have done more and met more people while you were in that awesome destination.
It all starts with a simple, “Hi.”
Comment below and tell me the story of which tips worked for you!
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